In early Feb of this year, one of my mystery conditions reared its ugly head. Usually these things appear and disappear within a fairly short period of time (except for that thing that happened when I was in high school. I’d get very faint, first thing in the morning and pretty much just lose all balance suddenly and completely, causing me to fall on my ass every day…. after several months of testing with no conclusive results, I self-diagnosed it as my body’s aversion to high school). But this one bided its time, well and painfully into May… at which point, after far too many questionable blood tests, my doctor referred me to the ever-ominous specialist.
After over 3 months in waiting to see said specialist, (the first available appointment with a rheumatologist- believe it or not), I finally had my appointment last week. Lovely, quiet man… or so it seemed from his initially demure introduction. He shakes my hand softly and leads me to his little office. And suddenly… I find myself peppered with about a hundred questions. Most of them asking me to recall in great detail, the exact events, circumstances and feelings of daily life from February through to May! I almost feel like I’m having a heart palpitation right then and there.
A medical exam follows (involving lots of prodding, stretching and banging of my joints with a little hammer). Then I am advised to get dressed and meet him back in his office. I sit down, slightly nervous. He starts by outlining all my symptoms back to me… and finishes by explaining his inability to discern why the hell it’s all happening. He tells me, “keep doing what you’re doing”, orders me yet another blood test, and does a very good job of trying to convince me that if the same situation arises again, I will be able to get an appointment to see him with a “much” shorter waiting period (after the 3 months in waiting just for this one, I’m not convinced).
I walk out of there, vein band-aided and $215 poorer… knowing I should feel relief that he couldn’t find anything wrong. Yet, only one thought keeps bubbling around the surface: SCAM!