5 reasons why I am fond of using aliases

1. Saves me from constantly having to spell my name, using the spelling alphabet. I for India, R for Romeo, N for November, I for India and another N for November.  You wouldn’t believe the number of mistakes that still occur following this, e.g. “What was that? Irwin? Irmin? Anna?”

2. To avoid the question of… “Oh that’s unusual, where is that from?”, and upon owning up to my origins, “Wow, your English is very good, you don’t have an accent at all!”.  Well, I’ve only lived outside of my island home for the past 15 years.

3. To prevent the following scenario: I introduce myself to someone before giving them a massage and get the question mentioned above, but he decides to take it one step further and Googles “Irnin name origin”.  I tell him I’ve tried this myself numerous times to no avail, which he soon finds out for himself… at which point he just googles “Irnin”. My greatest nightmare is one step away from coming true as about the first 20-30 results lead to me, my blog, my linked in account, my exhibitions.  Then it happens. The nightmare becomes reality as he clicks on my blog and starts poring through it while I am massaging him.  He clicks on Poetry, reads a few of those, tells me they would make better song lyrics than they do poems, and that it’s obvious I must have terrible taste in men- being an expert on both topics I’m sure.  He reads my letters from the Everafter project, and chuckles to himself; comments on my ‘Rads’ category, that that is a strange choice of word, asking if I came up with that all by myself or was it a commonly used phrase amongst friends?  That sure was the longest ten minute massage I’ve ever given.  And thank my genes I’m brown, or the deep blush of warmth rising from my neck and encompassing my entire face might have shown as a colour!

4. Who wouldn’t love that hit of anonymity, posing as something as common as Ruby, or Helga or Justice, when they are ridiculously easy to stalk? I mean track down. I mean, find.

5. Sometimes it’s just less pressure to be somebody else for a minute or two. Especially in a massaging situation where I’m only with them for 5mins and no matter how much I try to convince them otherwise, a select few people still hold it on par to a slightly sexual experience.  These people shouldn’t be allowed to find me, it’s almost what you might call… a risk.  They already know my face, an unusual name like mine to go along with it? Like taking candy from a baby, I’d be making it way too easy for them. A few years ago, I received a long and winding email from some guy I went to school with, that I had no recollection of, who had a bit of a crush… he tracked me down through other people from our school, using a FAR too detailed physical description.  So this email monologue was all about how he had been watching me sleep on the train.  True story.

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8 thoughts on “Alias

  1. Great blog on a topic I had the pleasure of hearing about first hand. Embarassing situations and stalking possibilities I don’t blame you for using very rad alias names 😉

    For the purpose of this blog i’ve used my own alias 😉

    Like

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