I’ve often wondered what I’d do if I suddenly noticed a spider or snake in the car whilst driving…

I now know that first, I’ll try to stay calm and tell myself I’m not too far from home (while the car spontaneously weaves around on the road). Then when I see the spider jumping from the door handle onto my pyjama pant, I’ll screech to a kerb-side halt and jump around in the car seat, trying to find it and simultaneously trying to convince myself that it isn’t on me anymore, and no it hasn’t gotten inside my clothes! And all the while I’ll be panicking about where it might be if not in sight! I’ll barely be able to stop myself from stepping out onto the street in humiliating pyjamas and jump around like a Wiggle on a sugar high to ensure the critter has made itself scarce.  When I’ve stopped myself from thinking that this is a viable option, I’ll start slapping things… myself, the door, the seat (just in case its camouflaging abilities are hiding it from me, and my random slapping might kill it). Suddenly, I’ll stop in disgust, remembering that killing it by slapping would mean dead spider remnants on my hands! Suddenly,as quickly as it disappeared, it’ll re-emerge from the back of my jumper and crawl back onto the door handle… just in time for me to open the door just a smidgen and flick the creeper out onto the street. I’ll take a moment to calm myself, drive home and vigorously scrub myself clean in the shower. Just in case sometime during that minute where I didn’t know where the spider was, it actually crawled on my skin and laid eggs or something.  JUST IN CASE.


2 thoughts on “What If…

    1. I was dropping my dad off at the train station… the 2 minute drive has never required me to be clothed for the public before!


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